Step 1: Try to figure out how you did
After my first exam, I had given myself 3 separate grades before I reached my car. They went as follows: Someone come blow me because I just made an A, Holy fuck...how did I forget all of those issues, and Do they REALLY have dental insurance at McDonalds? Obviously those are too messy to fit onto transcripts so I was wasting my time. Don't try to figure out what your grade was, because you have no idea. You got somewhere in the range of A+ to ouch. Just move on with it already.
Step 2: Ask the audience!
Worst mistake ever. Want to make yourself like you belong in assisted living? Go ask your friends what they put down. Hoooollly shit will it ever mind fuck you. All of the issues that you and your friends allegedly spotted and discussed will make you feel like you spent the last 4 months of your life learning how to incorrectly wipe your own ass because the paper you just handed in is covered with shit. Just employ the talk shop rule after you leave that mental ass kicking: Don't talk about it at all, loser gets punched in the dick. I bet no one is quick to talk about all the elements in promissory estoppel now are they?
Usually, my blogs are devoted to the terrible shit we all get exposed to in law school. I figured I would do everyone a service and take it a step further: My return to home. Determined to go home and leave this shit hole for a few weeks, I left out the day after finals completely happy to be returning home. Mother nature, somehow, grew a penis and attempted to put it in my mouth in the form of a blizzard on my travel home. It takes roughly 3 hours for me to get home on a good day...I spent an improved 5 hours driving through the abominable snow man's taint.
Luckily I manned up and whipped I-75's ass just to return home in time to not eat or drink anything. Why do you ask? The day after my completion of my first semester, I had the pleasure of going to the oral surgeon to get my wisdom teeth removed...fucking wonderful. This surgery is usually reserved for people who have enough common sense to go to the doctor when shit starts growing in their mouth around age 18. Nope, not me...I like to party. I decided those teeth can fuck off and I went with it, after all, the dentist said I probably didn't need them removed. Probably is a bitch of a word. Nonetheless, as I sat in the surgeon's office awaiting anesthesia, I had the pleasure of finding out that general anesthetic would be unnecessary, a local numbing would suffice. Really? Didn't they do this shit in the Civil War? Am I supposed to start drinking whiskey now? Please? After putting up a decent and entirely unsuccessful fight, I was wide awake getting things ripped out of my head...you know, an average Saturday morning.
An hour later, I felt pretty good about it, and too high to walk. At least something was going right. A little misnomer they fail to warn you about, pain killers wear off. Hard. Writhing in pain and bleeding all over the good furniture, luckily I received a visit from my friends, who thought it'd be funny to come give me shit. After making fun of the way I talk and eating delicious food from the fridge in front of me, I had concluded I had the worst friends in the world. Taking a day to be high and sleep, I tried to hit Monday wide open and start a productive week. I was woke by a phone call from my boss on Monday morning, telling me I'm late to work. Fucking recockulous. After explaining why I couldn't be there with a mouth full of gauze he ended the conversation with, yeah that's bad about your teeth, sooo you'll be in about an hour right?
Usually, my blogs are devoted to the terrible shit we all get exposed to in law school. I figured I would do everyone a service and take it a step further: My return to home. Determined to go home and leave this shit hole for a few weeks, I left out the day after finals completely happy to be returning home. Mother nature, somehow, grew a penis and attempted to put it in my mouth in the form of a blizzard on my travel home. It takes roughly 3 hours for me to get home on a good day...I spent an improved 5 hours driving through the abominable snow man's taint.
Luckily I manned up and whipped I-75's ass just to return home in time to not eat or drink anything. Why do you ask? The day after my completion of my first semester, I had the pleasure of going to the oral surgeon to get my wisdom teeth removed...fucking wonderful. This surgery is usually reserved for people who have enough common sense to go to the doctor when shit starts growing in their mouth around age 18. Nope, not me...I like to party. I decided those teeth can fuck off and I went with it, after all, the dentist said I probably didn't need them removed. Probably is a bitch of a word. Nonetheless, as I sat in the surgeon's office awaiting anesthesia, I had the pleasure of finding out that general anesthetic would be unnecessary, a local numbing would suffice. Really? Didn't they do this shit in the Civil War? Am I supposed to start drinking whiskey now? Please? After putting up a decent and entirely unsuccessful fight, I was wide awake getting things ripped out of my head...you know, an average Saturday morning.
An hour later, I felt pretty good about it, and too high to walk. At least something was going right. A little misnomer they fail to warn you about, pain killers wear off. Hard. Writhing in pain and bleeding all over the good furniture, luckily I received a visit from my friends, who thought it'd be funny to come give me shit. After making fun of the way I talk and eating delicious food from the fridge in front of me, I had concluded I had the worst friends in the world. Taking a day to be high and sleep, I tried to hit Monday wide open and start a productive week. I was woke by a phone call from my boss on Monday morning, telling me I'm late to work. Fucking recockulous. After explaining why I couldn't be there with a mouth full of gauze he ended the conversation with, yeah that's bad about your teeth, sooo you'll be in about an hour right?
Wait...what?
